Yan Kay Kay & Husband Share Love Story, Address 11-Year Age Gap, & Why He Ghosted Her For 3 Months

By Rachel Yohannan on 07 Oct 2022

Senior Digital Editor

Crazy cat lady who loves afternoon tea, kawaii Japanese fashion, and all things Sanrio.

When you live a public life, people will talk - and talk they did about Singaporean influencer Yan Kay Kay and now-husband Brandon Loh when news of them dating first surfaced. While the private lives of high-profile figures are always of interest to onlookers, their relationship was particularly buzz-worthy due to the large 11-year age gap between the two - with Kay Kay being the older one.

After getting married and starting a family together, with not one but two young children to call their own, 40-year-old Kay Kay and 29-year-old Brandon have come forward to share more on their love story, including how they met, thoughts on their age gap, the mean comments they’ve received, and why Brandon ghosted Kay Kay for 3 months just as their relationship was about to blossom.

Yan Kay Kay & Brandon Loh: How they met + love story

Photo from @yankaykay via Instagram

In a YouTube talk show series called Men, Explain by Clarity - hosted by Sonia Chew - Yan Kay Kay and Brandon Loh share that they first met through mutual friends, but not in Singapore. At that time, Kay Kay was living in Thailand, and Brandon went on a trip with a group of friends to Bangkok - one of whom knew Kay Kay as well. The whole bunch of them went out for a meal and drinks together, but Kay Kay and Brandon only made brief small talk.

At some point, Kay Kay asked Brandon what he did for a living, and he said he was running a business (aka Chug Chug, which he co-owned with Xinde Yap) as well as modelling on the side. The funny thing is, Kay Kay didn’t hear the first part, and only picked up on the “modelling” bit - after which she completely switched off, despite finding him a little cute at the start, as she found such guys “vapid”.

2 to 3 months after that trip ended, Kay Kay returned to Singapore, and accompanied her friend in visiting the place Brandon used to work at. Through their conversations, she got to know more about him beyond his modelling gigs, and started to gain more interest.

Surprisingly, the turning point was when Kay Kay saw an (unnamed) attractive high-profile girl at Chug Chug attempting to flirt with Brandon and put her arm around him. Instead of reciprocating, Brandon ran away, which impressed her as she felt that there was more substance to him that she originally assumed.

“I would think that most guys - not even just his age, but even 10 years older - they would just lap up the attention.”

From that point onwards, Kay Kay started taking more notice of him, and eventually asked him out for a meal, followed by a karaoke session with her friends. (Speaking of karaoke - K.STAR Karaoke at Plaza Singapura has new themed rooms and opens till 3am!) It was all good, clean, fun by the way - nothing physical happened between the pair.

Why Brandon ghosted Kay Kay for 3 months

Photo from @yankaykay via Instagram

Everything had been going well till that point, but just a day after that good first date, Brandon disappeared from Kay Kay’s life with no warning whatsoever. Essentially, he ghosted her.

Turns out, the reason was because Brandon was unsure whether he could become even more invested in the relationship, given their different financial statuses.

“Basically because I was spending more money than he was earning,” Kay Kay chimes in.

While they were both at the same stage in life, in that they were both part of the working world, Brandon had just started, and was drawing a very low salary as he had just started his business. On the contrary, Kay Kay always walked into his bar holding shopping bags and branded goods. Clearly, Kay Kay was financially better off than him by leaps and bounds at that point, and led a very different lifestyle.

For example, Kay Kay only watches Gold Class movies, while Brandon would go for regular tickets. Brandon was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to keep up, and he didn’t want to have her pay for everything just because she had more income.

“I was so upset because he explained 3 months later! He could have explained to me at the start and I’d be like, ‘Okay, I get it’, and [get] closure and move on’.” Kay Kay notes that Brandon is just very reserved by nature, and this communication gap had nothing to do with their respective ages.

In Brandon’s defence, they were still getting to know each other, and he felt it would be strange if he had listed out a whole ton of concerns so early on and possibly weird her out.

During this “ghosting” period, Kay Kay started hearing rumours that Brandon was gay (not true), and also received sporadic Instagram DMs responding to her IG Stories out of nowhere, which left her very confused.

“I was kinda stuck, because I was still interested, but I was afraid that if I [went] into it further, we’d waste each others’ time [or] it’d not work out.”

Just as Kay Kay was about to give up, Brandon asked her out for supper, during which he explained everything.

“After that, I went to watch one normal movie, like the normal $10 one. Then after that we just went back to watching Gold Class,” Kay Kay laughs.

Is Kay Kay Brandon’s sugar mummy?

Photo from @yankaykay via Instagram

Unsurprisingly, this is a question the couple gets a lot. Does Kay Kay pay for everything?

Well, she did, at the start, as Brandon was barely earning enough for his own meals. But a year after getting together, Brandon got into real estate - which he’s now doing super well in - and became more financially secure.

“I wanted to explore real estate because based on my age I feel that I should be earning more, so I wanted to explore something new. But ever since I got together with Kay Kay, I also wanted to work even harder, because I want to be able to close the gap in terms of the financial difference. In a way that really motivated me and pushed me to really work very hard in this industry to be able to achieve what I have today.”

He clarifies that Kay Kay never expected him to buy her expensive gifts or make a career switch - it was his own desire to “buck up” that gave him that push.

While Kay Kay derives her own satisfaction from paying for her own handbags and branded goods, Brandon now pays for pretty much all their other stuff - meals and Gold Class movie tickets included.

The couple admits that their entire relationship timeline - including marriage and kids - would have been delayed and possibly made tougher if not for Brandon’s property agent job providing that good financial cushion.

It’s also worth noting that Kay Kay has joined Brandon in real estate, so they’re basically a property power couple. And according to their company's Facebook page, the couple even scored over $1 million in commissions together over the course of this year! Yup, those Gold Class movie tix are definitely not out of reach anymore.

Kay Kay & Brandon on their 11-year age gap

Photo from @yankaykay via Instagram

Fun fact: Brandon knew who exactly Kay Kay was when he first met her, and had watched pretty much all her videos throughout the years, but she only found out about this 1 to 2 years into their relationship as he was playing cool the whole time.

Despite already knowing of her prior, he never really paid much thought to the age gap. Kay Kay knew about it, but similarly didn’t find it an issue. Their main concern was whether they would get along, and what their families might think. Thankfully, there was no opposition from either side, and although Kay Kay’s folks were initially wondering if Brandon would be able to provide for her, they were ultimately happy that she was finally settling down.

Their friends were also supportive, and never expressed any doubts regarding the difference in ages.

Kay Kay says that Brandon is an old soul who is mature for his age, and instead of wanting to stay out till late, he’s always the first one who wants to go home. In fact, Kay Kay’s friends call him the “go-home police”!

What’s great is that they never have to argue over values, so getting along with each other is effortless. And despite the general stereotype of younger guys being afraid of commitment, Brandon never had any problems with that once the initial ghosting period concluded.

Kay Kay & Brandon on haters

And what about the naysayers?

“...Whether it’s an older lady or an older guy…[if there is] an age gap big enough, there will definitely be people talking about you behind your back. So it’s whether you are okay with it, or whether you will be affected by it.” Brandon says.

“But we don’t live their lives for them,” Kay Kay adds confidently. Most of the time, the couple blocks out the negativity and doesn't let it affect them.

Other than calling Kay Kay Brandon’s sugar mummy, another comment she gets a lot on their Instagram posts is “mother and son”, which she calls “lame”.