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The Do's & Don'ts Of Each Love Language To Help Improve Your Relationships In Life

The Do's & Don'ts Of Each Love Language To Help Improve Your Relationships In Life

Friendship Relationship
By Wei Yin on 22 Oct 2020
Digital Editor

There are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. Each love language represents how a person prefers to receive love.


Learning your partner or friend's love language is a great way to improve your relationship with them and understanding your own love language at the same time will help to create an even stronger bond.

Read on to find out more about love languages and the do's and don'ts! 

Couple hugging Photo from Pinterest

How to find out your love language

Take this simple quiz by The 5 Love Languages to find out your own love language. Choose from couple, single or teen quizzes and answer the questions as truthfully as possible. At the end of the quiz, you will be able to see what your love language is. You can also get your partner or friends to do it.

Once you know your partner or friend's love language, here are the do's and don'ts for each love language to help you improve your relationships:

#1 Words of Affirmation


Couple talking and laughingPhoto from Pinterest

If someone's love language is Words of Affirmation, they like receiving compliments and feeling valued. They want to be understood and recognised for their efforts.

- Say "I love you"
- Tell them why you appreciate them
- Give them sincere and surprise praises
- Send them loving messages
- Acknowledge them when they do something good

- Say harsh words in a fit of anger
- Assume they know they are loved and appreciated
- Give needless criticism
- Have a lack of communication

#2 Acts of Service

Couple laying on the bed and laughingPhoto from Pinterest

If someone's love language is Acts of Service, they prefer knowing they are loved through actions and probably have "actions speak louder than words" as their motto in life.

- Help them in small ways that will make them feel loved (cooking, household chores etc.)
- Be spontaneous (surprise them with flowers, a home cooked dinner etc.)
- Plan date nights
- Help them out with things they dread doing


- Go back on promises
- Ignore requests for help
- Lack follow-through on tasks

#3 Receiving Gifts

Guy gives girl flowersPhoto from Pinterest

If someone's love language is Receiving Gifts, you may have heard them saying "it's the thought that counts" many times. People with Receiving Gifts as their love language are often misunderstood for being materialistic but they simply perceive gifts as an expression of love, regardless of how small or big they are.

- Surprise them with meaningful gifts (things they mentioned before etc.)
- Write them a letter or give them a handmade card
- Bring them souvenirs when you travel without them
- Be thoughtful when choosing gifts

- Materialism (it's not about how expensive a gift is)
- Forget special occasions (anniversary, birthday etc.)
- Give thoughtless gifts
- Be unenthusiastic when giving gifts or act like it's a chore

#4 Quality Time

Couple taking mirror selfiePhoto from Pinterest


If someone's love language is Quality Time, being present and giving them undivided attention are some ways that will make them feel loved. They find joy in doing things together with the people they love.

- Engage in quality conversations
- Do things together (hobbies, activities, chores etc.)
- Really listen when conversing
- Go on dates to spend uninterrupted time together
- Make eye contact when conversing

- Be distracted when spending time or doing things together
- Postpone dates last minute without any valid reasons
- Avoid one-on-one time

#5 Physical Touch

Boyfriend kissing girlfriend on the cheekPhoto from Pinterest

If someone's love language is Physical Touch, non-verbal ways of showing you love them will make them feel cherished. It's not always about sexual intimacy, but also simple physical touches that will make them feel valued and loved.

- Cuddle
- Give them a forehead kiss
- Hold their hands
- Give them a massage
- Sit close to them

- Be uncomfortable with showing PDA
- Neglect them
- Reject affection

Couple photo in a field of flowersPhoto from Pinterest

Now that you know and understand the five love languages, make an effort in showing your partner, family and friends you love them in ways that will make them feel cherished and happy.

It's also a good idea to communicate your own love language with your loved ones as it will help to improve the relationship further.

While you are here, check out our other relationship and friendship related articles:

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Text by: GirlStyle SG