The Best & Worst Things About My Wedding & Advice For Brides-To-Be
Picture your wedding and you might see a perfect, romantic fairytale with you as the beautiful, blushing bride looking like a princess.
But behind the glamour and dreamy photographs, what people don't post on Instagram is the downside and stressful moments that shatter the illusion of a picture-perfect wedding day that brides often expect.
Photo from French Toast Productions
I had a chat* with a newlywed bride, Genevieve, to find out what went down behind the scenes of her wedding.
*Responses are edited for clarity and brevity.
Karmen: The beautiful parts of a wedding is often shared on social media but the low moments are usually not addressed at all. What were the worst parts of your wedding?
Genevieve: The main downsides to my wedding was certain traditions, the cost and when things go wrong or not according to what I had hoped for.
There's a pressure to conform to societal expectations like following the tradition of taking a whole year to plan a wedding. It get stressful as everything has to be planned to the minute because of the many wedding traditions like speeches and cake-cutting. Communication issues can also complicate things even further. Also, it goes without saying that weddings are very expensive!
Photo from French Toast Productions
It's also inevitable that not everything will go according to plan and when things do go wrong it can be really frustrating. For example, guests not arriving on time and some not even turning up at all with no notice. I also didn't have time to eat as I was busy entertaining everyone and taking pictures.
Among most couples, there's the stress of the need to compromise and accommodate each other's expectations of how a wedding should go. My wedding had some extra stress because I'm in an interracial relationship; My husband is from Australia and many wedding guests were not Singaporean so there were added differences in expectations.
One big bummer about my wedding was that it was not truly mine. Certain things were taken out of my control by my family members who wanted things to go their way. Everyone has their own opinion and since I'm a people-pleaser, I change things to accommodate others and make everyone happy.
Karmen: I'm sure many Singaporeans can relate! More often than not, weddings are more for the family members than the wedded couple. Nonetheless, your wedding was still a beautiful and happy day. What were the best parts of your wedding?
Photo from French Toast Productions
Photo from French Toast Productions
Genevieve: Of course there were many wonderful moments too! One of the best parts of my wedding was seeing the support from my family and friends. My best friend was the wedding planner and my friends planned a surprise live band to play at my wedding. My sister helped out too and she bought fairy lights to decorate the venue. There was also a surprise opera performance by one of my friends!
I loved the time I spent mingling with my friends and I'm grateful to have had a fantastic makeup artist, Jennis Wong, to support me and listen to my rants when I was feeling stressed.
There's also that feeling when one whole year of work culminates into that one special day where I married the love of my life!
Photo from French Toast Productions
Photo from French Toast Productions
Karmen: After going through two weddings, you must have advice for future brides! Any wedding tips for our readers?
Genevieve: If you're going for a wedding package, there's actually room for negotiation and you can switch things around. For example, we exchanged our hotel room for a barrel of beer. We then booked our own hotel room which was cheaper than the barrel of beer. So overall, we had a more value-for-money package.
Do your research on every item you need and try to find a cheaper alternative online. Besides wedding packages and traditional brick and mortar stores, you may be able to find cheaper alternatives online on websites like Taobao, Amazon and Lazada that are pretty good quality.
Photo from French Toast Productions
Don't have two weddings! One is enough. My husband and I had a second wedding in Australia which put quite a bit of financial strain on us. If you really want two weddings, have them close together so you don't have to watch your weight for too long!
Don't be paiseh to ask for help or delegate jobs to everyone. Let as many people as possible know the plan and what's going to happen on that day. Prepare for everyone to ask you "So, what's supposed to happen now?", because trust me, it will happen!
Photo from French Toast Productions
Get a good hair and makeup artist too! It's your most important day and you need someone you trust who will make you feel gorgeous inside and out. When it comes to choosing a makeup artist, it's not about going for the one with the most expensive rate that fits your budget, but finding one that you have a rapport with as you'll be spending most of the day with him or her.
A big thank you to Genevieve for sharing her story! Hopefully her thoughts and advice has helped you know what to look out for and have a more realistic expectation for your own future wedding.
Speaking of weddings, check out some gorgeous bridal nail art and hairstyles, unique wedding photoshoot themes and cute poses, and non-traditional wedding dresses for unconventional brides.
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