Ever get that nagging feeling in your gut that someone close might not be as genuine as you think? It’s tough to admit, especially if you’ve known them for years or feel attached to the friendship. But just like toxic romantic relationships, toxic friendships are very real. In a healthy friendship, support, trust, and closeness are non-negotiable. If those are missing, you could be dealing with a fake friend. Here are some signs your friendship is toxic.
10 signs you’re dealing with a fake friend
-
They only show up when it benefits them
Photo from Pinterest
Ever notice that one friend who's always around for the fun stuff, but vanishes when you actually need help? Maybe they come to your parties to meet new people, but when you're struggling or need advice, they’re nowhere to be found. That’s a classic red flag. True friends are there for you, not just for the good times.
-
They are emotionally unavailable
Photo from Pixabay
While some friends might physically be around, they’re emotionally checked out when it matters. They won’t engage with your problems, shrugging off your feelings, or giving half-hearted responses. You’ll notice them avoiding serious conversations or offering shallow support that feels like they’re just going through the motions, never truly understanding or helping.
-
They can’t be happy for your success
When something amazing happens in your life, like landing a dream job or hitting a personal milestone, a real friend is genuinely excited for you. But if you’ve noticed someone downplaying your accomplishments or getting weirdly quiet when you’re celebrating, that’s jealousy, not friendship. Maybe they brush it off or change the subject—either way, they’re not rooting for you.
-
They try to compete with you
A fake friend often feels the need to one-up you, turning every conversation into a competition. Whether it’s about achievements, possessions, or even relationships, they always have to be “better.” Instead of celebrating your wins, they’re more focused on outshining you.
-
They make you feel bad about yourself
Photo from Freepik
Ever leave a hangout feeling worse than when you arrived? If a friend’s words or actions constantly make you feel judged, insecure, or uncomfortable, they're not lifting you up. Sometimes it’s subtle—a certain look or tone—but the negative energy speaks volumes.
-
Their behaviour is inconsistent
Photo from Freepik
One day, they're super friendly, and the next, they’re distant or cold. If you never know what kind of mood you’re going to get, it's emotionally exhausting. Real friends are consistent and dependable, not hot and cold depending on their mood or what they can gain.
-
They’re always taking but never giving
Photo from Freepik
Friendships are about give and take, but fake friends only seem to be interested in taking. Whether it's borrowing money and never repaying it or always needing a favour but never offering one in return, they’re more focused on what you can do for them.
-
They downplay your feelings
Photo from Giselle Dekel Illustrations
When you express your emotions, fake friends often shrug it off or make you feel like you're overreacting. True friends listen, validate your feelings, and don’t make you feel guilty for sharing.
-
They don’t include you
Photo from Pinterest
A real friend makes an effort to include you in their life. But if you often find out that they’re hanging out with others and excluding you from plans, it’s a sign that they’re not valuing your friendship.
-
They make everything about them
Every conversation somehow ends up being about them and their issues. Your needs, concerns, or stories always seem to take a backseat. A fake friend thrives on being the centre of attention and isn't concerned about what you’re going through.
Walk away from that fake friend
Cutting ties with someone you once trusted can be tough, but it's necessary for your mental health. If any of these signs hit close to home, it may be time to have an honest conversation or slowly distance yourself. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you, celebrate your wins, and lift you up—not drag you down. If you're feeling down about ending a friendship you thought was genuine, here’s how to cope with a friendship breakup.