Not Everyone’s Out To Get You—How To Stop Taking Things Too Personally

Ever feel like every little comment or action is a personal attack? Like when you walk into a room, and you’re sure people are whispering about your outfit? It’s easy to overthink and assume the worst, but most of the time, people are too caught up in their own lives to scrutinise yours. If you want to stop letting these thoughts weigh you down, here’s how to not take things personally and feel lighter.

1. Remember, It’s Not Always About You

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   People have their own struggles, moods, and problems that have nothing to do with you. That grumpy cashier? Maybe they had a rough morning. Your friend who didn’t text back? They might be overwhelmed with work. Instead of assuming it’s something you did, remind yourself that everyone has their own battles.

2. Don’t Overthink Every Word

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   Not every comment carries a hidden meaning. If someone makes a passing remark, take it as it is instead of looking for something negative. Or if your friend didn’t send an emoji like they usually do, don’t jump to conclusions and assume you did something wrong. Overanalysing can create problems that don’t even exist.

3. Build Confidence in Yourself

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   When you feel good about yourself, what others say won’t shake you as much. Focus on what makes you happy, set personal goals, and celebrate your wins—big or small. The stronger your confidence, the less others’ words will affect you.

4. Consider Their Perspective

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   People’s reactions often have more to do with them than with you. If someone seems distant or dismissive, take a step back and consider what might be going on in their life. A friend who cancels plans last minute might not be avoiding you—they could be overwhelmed or just need a break. A colleague giving short replies might be drowning in deadlines, not ignoring you. Even a stranger who snaps at you could be having a bad day, and their frustration isn’t personal. Looking at the bigger picture can help you realise that their actions are often about their own struggles, not a reflection of your worth.

5. Pause Before Reacting

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   When something or someone upsets you, take a deep breath before responding. Ask yourself, "Is this really worth my energy?" Most of the time, it’s not. Reacting in the heat of the moment can make things messier than they need to be, leading to stress and unnecessary drama. Taking a step back helps you clear your head, see the situation for what it really is, and respond in a way that feels right instead of just reacting out of frustration.

   Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

   ― Ambrose Bierce

6. Stop Seeking Approval from Everyone

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   Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay. If you’re always trying to please others, you’ll end up exhausted and frustrated. Think about it—celebrities, influencers, even the kindest people still have critics. No matter what you do, someone will have an opinion, so why stress over it? As long as you’re happy and not harming anyone, just do what feels right for you.

7. Set Boundaries

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   If someone constantly makes you feel small, it’s okay to step back. Maybe it’s that friend who always turns things into a competition or a relative who criticises your choices. You don’t have to entertain every conversation or attend every gathering. For example, if a coworker constantly brings negativity into your lunch breaks, it’s fine to excuse yourself or eat elsewhere. Boundaries aren’t about being rude; they’re about protecting your peace.

8. Choose What Deserves Your Attention

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   Not everything requires a reaction. If a stranger leaves a rude comment on your social media post, is it worth losing sleep over? Probably not. Or, picture this: You’re at a family dinner, and your aunt makes a passive-aggressive remark about your career choices. You could argue, but would that change her mind? Instead, you smile, change the topic, and move on with your life. Some things just aren’t worth your energy.

9. Surround Yourself with Positive People

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   The people around you shape how you feel. Have you ever noticed how spending time with an uplifting friend can turn your whole day around? On the flip side, being around constant complainers can drain you. If someone in your life is always putting you down, ask yourself if they’re really someone you need to keep close. Choose to invest in relationships that make you feel valued and supported.

10. Focus on What You Can Control

    Photo from @journey_to_wellness_ via Instagram

    You can’t control what others say or do, but you can control your response. If someone cuts you off in traffic, you can let it ruin your mood, or you can take a deep breath and move on. If your boss gives short feedback on your work, don’t assume the worst—maybe they’re just in a hurry. Instead of fixating on things beyond your control, put your energy into what benefits you, like learning a new skill or improving your mindset.

11. Practice Letting Go

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    Holding onto negativity only weighs you down. Say you had a falling out with a friend, and you keep replaying the argument in your head. Will that change anything? Probably not. Instead, allow yourself to acknowledge the hurt, but don’t let it consume you. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean excusing their behaviour—it means choosing your peace over resentment.

The less you let things get to you, the happier and more peaceful you’ll feel. Life’s too short to waste time worrying about things that don’t truly matter! If you find yourself taking things too personally, it's time to shift your perspective. We will always be rooting for you!