Jacelyn Tay Shares Inspiring Post On Self-Love And How She Had The Best Valentine's This Year After Her Divorce
Homegrown actress-turned-entrepreneur Jacelyn Tay first shocked the country when she announced her divorce with Brian Wong, her husband of eight years whom she shares a son with.
Now that she is back to being single, Valentine's hold a different meaning for her.
In two honest, raw and heartfelt posts to her Instagram followers, Jacelyn shared:
Today is the best ever Valentine's Day I have in my life. Maybe you don't believe. But really, it is. I used to equate Valentine's Day with the lover, the gift and flowers. But truly, this day is about love. First, loving myself. Then love those whom I love.
I used to think that I can only love one person which is my partner. And my love became so narrow that I neglected many of those who love me faithfully. I always didn't have time for them because I was sucked into an intense relationship.
But today, I am liberated to love those I love and unconditionally. I finally understood what love is! There is only one type of love, my mentor told me - unconditionally love. Now I agree.
People say there are four unique forms of love found in the Bible: Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape, characterized respectively by romantic love, family love, brotherly love, and God's divine love. Sorry but I beg to differ. The first three "love" cannot be liberating. Maybe they should not be called love at all. They come with expectations of romance, sex, family responsibilities, brotherly or sisterly emotional bondage. That means without the existence of romance, sex, taking up responsibilities in the family etc, the above 3 love cannot exist. In that sense, can we really call them love? Or is love simply Agape? Love unconditionally?
Only when we love unconditionally, (then can) we feel free in the heart. Romance, sex, wanting to take care of family etc then will naturally be sprung from this powerful feeling of love giving. The other party receives it and gives back the same agape love and the flow of love continuously strengthens the relationship naturally without us even noticing."
(Part II) Love that comes with conditions means there will be expectations. And with expectations, you bound to have disappointments. Then the love for each other suffocates us. We complain, we compare, we start putting pressure on the loved ones and eventually, love turns into hate. How to be free to love when there are so many expectations?
That is why human suffer and find love difficult. Because we didn't make love pure in the first place. We have to first be able to love ourselves truly, love our life, and with that overflowing love, give what we have in abundance to those we love. Yes we can choose who we give love to, but we don't need return of our love because we don't need it from anyone. This freedom of giving love freely makes love such a wonderful thing.
I have been through bankruptcy, I have taken Ferrari. At the end of the day, joy has nothing to do with them. Joy has to do with love. The happiness in spreading love strengthens my soul and lifts my spirit. Life each day should be filled with abundant happy hormones. Don't crave for love, don't find a lover. Be love, be the lover. You decide who you wanna love. You have the rights not to give love to somebody too. Choose wisely! And don't try to love out of obligation, because that is no longer love.
Love sees no fault in that person. I love my son. No matter how unreasonable or naughty he could be, I still love him to the max lolxxx....! This is the purer form of love I can understand right now. I am still learning about love...
Happy Valentine's Day all darlings in the world. If you are like me, single and full of love, you are the most blessed person on earth because you are complete.
If there is one takeaway we learned from Jacelyn, it is that love is a choice, not just a feeling. And the rule for absolute happiness begins with loving and respecting ourselves first.
Know a girlfriend who needs some advice on love? Show some love and share this post with them!
Photos: Jacelyn Tay (Instagram)
Text by: GirlStyle SG
