Is something weighing you down? It's hard to feel happy when something is not going right socially. You may feel like you're always compromising and nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, sometimes you choose not to talk anymore. Some people in your life can be REALLY EXHAUSTING. Maybe, it's time to think and if necessary, break off relationships to find yourself and build healthier relationships.
There is a time to confront, a time to take a step back, a time to reconcile and a time to simply walk away and say your byes.
On the other hand, there are people who you're naturally drawn to. So spend more time with them and don't overthink. Who should you keep in your life?
These are some common traits in people you should consider letting go:
1. Poor Anger Management
Don't find excuses. Someone who loves and appreciates you will find ways to compliment you, choose to look at the good in you and maintain a higher level of self-control in situations where emotions arise. Surely, there are moments where we lose it. The right thing to do is to come back and apologize as quickly as possible. Forgive twice as fast. Both parties need to 'give and take' when it comes to repair attempts. If the frequency of someone 'losing it' is very often, you ought to think twice.
Some people just never ever change, it's a reality and you need to evaluate your circumstances carefully. Involve people who can give you good pieces of advice to help you stay clear-minded when you feel cloudy. Walk away if you can. If not, put some distance and don't give in to unreasonable tantrums and behaviors.
2. Emotional instability
You feel scared around someone who is emotionally unstable. It's because you care enough about this person. You don't know what triggers them exactly and maybe, this person will go nuts over something trivial like in the past. In the long run, this 'emotional instability' will leap onto you because it affects you. Don't end up having panic attacks and anxiety over people who struggle with maintaining their own emotions.
You need to stay far away. Spend time building up yourself, your confidence again before being in contact with such a person.
Nobody likes excessive life drama and it wears you down. There are two types of drama -Funny and not funny. When it's not a funny drama, you need to 'turn off the TV'. If someone is too needy, over talking, likes to gossip and forces you to agree, find too many excuses, this is what you should do. Do not respond, give cold replies, disagree with him/her and over time, this drama king/queen will find someone else to entertain. The best thing, you don't need confrontation to turn them away, simply stop 'feeding' their drama.
This is a situation of being ignored, being mocked at, verbally put down or conveniently being a target of 'abuse'. Or even, the person whom everyone conveniently blames. It's not your fault and even so, you deserve respect. Take your voice back because this person (or group of people) is obviously disrespecting you. You need to say no, but kindly with dignity because that's who you are. Politely maintain your ground by saying "No" in various confident ways. And if it still doesn't work out, walk away from this person/group.
Manipulation comes in very subtle cues in human interaction. Keep an eye out for the guilt trips, the cornering, the powerplay and do you think this relationship is a 50-50 where both parties can make fair decisions. Meaning, the ability to decide yes and no, to take yes and no for an answer, what's right and what's wrong and you're truly empowered to take and to give. That's what you're aiming for if you are around people who are manipulative.
6. You're just not interested
If you're not interested in some friendships, stop pretending that you are. You can decide who to be friends with and who not to be and not feel guilty about it. I promise you, you will feel better and lighter when you slowly fade into the background in friendships that don't matter. You won't think twice and you will appreciate the less forcing of small talks and fake smiles.
If the above remind you of someone you know, you need to think twice and put some distance between you and the person. Even if it's your family, BFF, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend. The objective is this: Breaking off some relationships might lighten you, help you to feel better so you can build solid self and other relationships.
As the famous saying by Marie Kondo goes, "does this person spark joy into your life?" If no, burn the bridges until you see sparks of joy.
You may not be the party that is 'in the right' all the time but, it doesn't hurt to take a step back and re-evaluate relationships that weigh you down. Do the right thing this year by breaking off some relationships or even making some big decision.
Photo Source: Pinterest
Text By: Girlstyle SG