10 Red Flags To Watch Out For In A Relationship

Human connection is super important for our happiness and mental well-being. Feeling loved and connected can truly make a positive difference in our lives. However, not all relationships are healthy or uplifting. Some can actually be harmful and have a negative impact on our mental health.

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Understanding red flags in a relationship is crucial. You have to know what they are and why they're a big deal before you can tackle them. Sadly, some people think these red flags are just something they have to put up with, rather than warning signs. So let's talk about 10 common red flags you might see in anyone, regardless of gender.

#1 Physical and mental abuse

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Physical, emotional, and mental abuse are serious red flags in any relationship. While it's often easier to spot physical abuse, emotional and mental abuse can be just as harmful in the long term. And like physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse can lead to PTSD.

No one should ever make you the target for their own issues. Problems should be sorted out in a constructive and fair way. Abuse is never the right way to deal with problems, and do not be afraid to seek help if you are ever in this situation.

#2 Narcissism

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Narcissistic personality disorder is when someone is overly focused on themselves and thinks they're really important. It might seem like they have grand ideas about themselves, but it's not like they're disconnected from reality. Still, it can feel that way to those close to them. Narcissists believe everything revolves around them, and if anyone challenges that, it can cause a lot of trouble like doubting in one's self. They'll always put their own needs before yours, which can leave you feeling drained and upset.

#3 Gaslighting

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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where an individual messes with your head over time, making you doubt yourself and question your own judgements. It leaves you feeling confused, less sure of yourself, and dependent on them.

Also, sometimes, denying doesn't mean flat out saying it never happened. It can also mean making up a story to explain what they did. For instance, if they're denying hitting you, they might say, "I didn't mean to hit you. You were going to hit me, so I put my hands out to protect myself." But the truth is, you hadn't even moved.

#4 Constant jealousy leading to controlling behaviours

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Jealousy isn't always a massive warning sign on its own. Most of us have felt a bit uneasy seeing our partner getting along with someone attractive. But how they handle those feelings makes a big difference.

If they start shouting at you or telling you who you can and can't hang out with, that's more than just worrying. It's a sign of a potentially harmful, even abusive relationship. In a healthy partnership, you should feel relaxed and safe, not suffocated or like you're walking on eggshells.

#5 Codependency

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Being overly dependent on each other in all sorts of way like mental health issues in relationships, can lead to problems like feeling emotionally drained and taking on too much mental stress. Just to be clear, having past trauma or mental health concerns doesn't mean someone can only have great relationships once they've completely 'healed'. What really matters is whether they're aware of how these issues affect them and those around them, and if they're actively seeking support or trying to improve. Seeking help might involve going to therapy, working through mental health resources, or building strong friendships.

But it's important to remember that you're not solely responsible for their well-being. If the relationship becomes too focused on you being their only support, it can affect your own mental health as well.

#6 They don't support you in tough times

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When you're really stressed about money or upset over family issues, your partner should be there for you. Of course it doesn't mean you should throw all your problems on your partner and expect them to solve each and every one for you. They don't have to solve all your problems, but they should make an effort to support you.

Their support doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. Even a simple hug, kiss, or just telling you they believe in you can make a big difference. How you want to be supported depends on you, but if you feel like they're ignoring your struggles, it's a sign they're not meeting your emotional needs.

#7 Straining your relationships with friends and family

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For most of us, our family and friends are a big part of our lives, giving us a sense of belonging. If someone is causing problems with those important relationships, it's a big warning sign. Good relationships shouldn't cause issues with other good relationships.

Take, for example, if your partner always makes you choose between them and your friends, or they constantly criticises your family. That's not a good sign.

#8 Excessive sarcasm that make you feel bad about yourself

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Saying "It was just a joke" doesn't fix hurtful insults. Constant sarcasm, mean jokes, or always pointing out your flaws can be a way for someone to control the relationship without your say, and there are just some things that you can't say to your partner.

There's a difference between playful teasing and jokes that make you feel bad about yourself. It's a real worry if you tell your partner their words hurt, but they keep on doing it anyway. In that case, it could be a dealbreaker – something you can't accept.

For example, if your partner always makes fun of your looks even after you've told them it bothers you, it shows they're not listening to your feelings.

#9 Anger issues

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Pay attention if your partner gets really mad at little things or often has outbursts of anger. If they go from being happy one minute to raging the next over minor stuff, it shows they struggle to handle their feelings in a healthy way. And let's face it, it's not nice – and can even be scary to be around that kind of behaviour.

For example, if your partner explodes in anger when you disagree with them in anything, or makes a small mistake that can be resolve by communicating properly, it is definitely a red flag you should take note of.

#10 Substance abuse

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Substance abuse is a big warning sign. It shows that someone finds it hard to control their impulses and might be harming themselves. If addiction becomes part of the picture, any relationship can go downhill fast.

For example, if your partner starts relying on alcohol to cope with stress and it's affecting your work and the relationship, it's a sign they're struggling. That said, addiction is an illness, and your loved one might need some help and support.

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If you're nodding along because these sounds familiar, it's time to reach out for some support. Chat with your friends, your family, or someone who can lend an ear without judgement. And don't shy away from having a serious heart-to-heart with your partner about what's not working. But if things don't change and your well-being's at stake, it's okay to walk away. You deserve to be in a relationship that lifts you up, not brings you down.