Traversing The Perils Of Tinder And The 5 Types of Men You Could Meet
My Mama told me never to talk to strangers...unless they were hot AF.
With the sudden influx of social media apps like Tinder, Paktor and Coffee Meets Bagel, I find my choices increasing twofold and it's almost like having a live buffet of men at my disposal. Suddenly my prospects no longer seem as bleak as a Charles Dicken's novel and I can take comfort that the possibility of me having to check myself in a nunnery has been greatly reduced.
Disclaimer: All resemblance to any characters living or dead is pure coincidence.
For the uninitiated (a.k.a: Those who have been living underneath a rock), Tinder is one of the most popular social apps worldwide for people looking for love/ to connect/for God knows what else reasons. The concept is simple enough. You get to see a bunch of men. Then you swipe right if you think they look hot/rich, or you swipe left if they don't appeal. If the dude finds you cute too and happens to swipe right on you as well...then you GET A MATCH! Thereafter you will both be able to converse with each other and maybe go on dates.
As I excitedly started my daily finger exercises on Tinder, (Swipe, Swipe Swipe) I started to realise that it was a dangerous jungle out there. I didn't know so many different types of men existed. It was quite an eye-opener. As I met more men and went out on more dates, I started to see a pattern and discovered there were certain types of men I could meet on tinder.
Below are just 5 different types of men you could (or could not) meet on Tinder. (There are more, but just 5 for today)
- Mr Hello, DTF
This type of men are straightforward to a T. Not that there's anything wrong with that. We always appreciate candidness. His vocabulary is rather limited. Conversations usually start this way: "HELLO DTF". These men simply do not waste time. They are snappy, concise and straight to the point. To which I would reply cheerfully: " Yah DIN TAI FUNG right? Sure, when? I really like their XiaoLongBaos...." And thereafter these men would disappear faster then VS underwear at 70% off during the Great Singapore Sale. Next.
2. Mr My-Height-Very-Important-Meh
Lets say you are a tall chick right. You might really want to wear heels but for fear of overshadowing a man, you think it might be the correct/polite thing to ask for his height because you want to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation. #legit. And the dude suddenly takes huge offence when you ask about his height and goes into this major tirade. " WHY MUST ASK FOR MY HEIGHT VERY IMPORTANT MEH??? YOU GIRLS ALL THE SAME. ALL ONLY LIKE TALL MEN....BLAHBLAHBLAH." DUDE. Take a chill pill. It's not my fault that I look like a giraffe so I want to make sure we are on par.
3. Mr Every-Photo-Must-Wear-Sunglasses
This guy is the poster boy for your local optical shop. Or maybe he has been sponsored by Ray-Bans. Either way, in all his 5-6 photos, he is wearing sunglasses. There is not a single picture where he isn't. Nope. This guy exudes a mysterious aura and simple keeps you guessing. What does he really look like without those sunglasses? Maybe that's simply part of his plan to keep you hooked.
4. Mr I-Am-Married-But-My-Marriage-Is-On-The-Rocks
This guy will seem really normal and nice at first. He looks decent, speaks decent english, holds a fairly decent conversation and doesn't seem like a creep. At last you think, sighing in relief, with a surging hope that maybe this one could go somewhere. But somehow there is this tiny nagging feeling that something isn't quite right. After some digging and probing, you realise to your horror that is guy is married. OMG. And then you as him why is he on Tinder then. To which he replies, " Oh you know my marriage isn't really going well.. we and my wife don't talk anymore.." Then shouldn't you not be seeing a marriage counsellor instead of using Tinder? #whatlogic.
5. Mr Talk-Online-Forever-But-Never-Meet-Up
You guys have a great relationship. You can chat everyday for hours and it's all going great. Online. He never ever suggests meeting up and is somehow only keen on a relationship/friendly online. When you point blank ask him about this. He says "Oh you know we need to chat more and know each other better..." Which is true. Except for the fact you guys have been chatting for 24 hours a day for the last...6 months.
There we go. The 5 type of male species you could find on Tinder. The list however isn't limited. Stay tuned to see more of what shady shenanigans and discoveries we have made on Tinder!
Text by: Girlsdaily SG
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